إمـتـى ... ولـيـه

إمتى ممكن تجيلنا الجرأة ونرجع تانى نفتح خزينة ذكرياتنا الجميلة ؟؟ بعد زمن طويل و لا قصير ! ولا أبدا مش بتيجى الجرأة الكافية ؟ وليه بنحس بالحنين اننا نرجع لها ونعيشها تانى ولو كذكرى ؟ صحيح هى جميلة لكن المفروض أن الحياة تستمر! ... يمكن دى تكون أول مرة أكتشف أن الرجوع لذكرى جميلة مش سهل أبدا لأن كلما كانت جميلة فى الماضى فإحساسنا بالأسى لضياع زمنها بيكون أقوى وإحساسنا بالألم لما نفتكر سبب الضياع أو ملابساته أحيانا بيضيع اى إحساس بجمال الذكرى.
طول عمرى ماحبتش أحتفظ ماديا بذكرى خاصة ... والأكثر من كده ... محبتش أسيب ذكرى مادية . بمكن التعديل البسيط هو البلوج ده . هو ذكرى مادية ليا "لكن" لمجموعة محدودة أقل من عدد أصابع يد واحدة تعرفنى شخصيا .. الباقى أشخاص ماتعرفش عنى أى شئ محدد. مرة من المرات القليلة اللى إحتفظت فيها بشئ يهمنى علشان أفتكره كل ما ينادينى حنين هى اللى علمتنى درس جديد فى حياتى ... أننا ممكن نرمى بنفسنا مفتاح خزينة ذكرياتنا الجميلة لمجرد تفادى ألم هايصحب فتحها . جبن ! هشاشة ! ولا مجرد خيالية بائسة... إستحضار للذكرى بطريقة مختلفة .. إستمتاع بألم الذكرى بمعنى تانى! الغريب إننا ممكن نرمى المفتاح لكن نحتفظ بالخزينة.... ليه


مجرد أفكار مرت فى دماغى ... مش مرتبة لكن حبيت أقولها .... عموما الأفكار مابقتش مرتبة فى دماغى من فترة ويمكن ماترجعش مرتبة تانى أبدا

مش فاهمة

موقف تعرضت له من اربع شهور ... وبغض النظر عن تفصيل الموقف وتداعياته ونتايجه لحد دلوقتى مافهمتش دواعيه وأسبابه حاولت كتير ألاقى تفسير منطقى ومش لاقية . اقرب تفسيرين واحد هاعتبره ساذج ولو إنه محتمل بنسبة قليلة، لكن يمكن التفسير الوحيد اللى شبه منطقى مش على هواي وبالتالى مش عاوزة أصدقه!؟؟؟. أعترف انى تغلبت على أغلب التداعيات السلبية للموقف وبالعكس حاولت أكون ايجابية التفكير لكن بصراحة أحيانا -زى دلوقتى- بأرجع أفكر وأفكر فى تفسير لكن لازلت بأقول "مش فاهمة!". المشكلة ان مفيش أى حد يقدر يدينى تفسير صحيح !!!. بس يا ترى الأحسن أفضل مش فاهمة ؟؟؟ دى انا مش عارفاها .

يـمكن إشارة

قرار تأخده ولما تبدأ فعلا فى خطوات تنفيذه تلاقى علامة بتقولك "وقف".... ولو إلى حين !!ـ

Suicide is Painless

The game of life is hard to play. I’m gonna lose it anyway.

The losing card I’ll someday lay so this is all I have to say.

يوسف بك وهبي .....تعديل بسيط

وما الدنيا إلا مسرح "عبث" كبير

Me and "My Way"

....And by My Way I mean the song which is one of the most celebrated songs in the world, The story of me and "My Way" goes back in time like 18 years or so, when I was a teen crazy about a french singer, who was already dead for more than 12 years at the time. His name was Claude Francois and I loved all his songs, one of the most important of which was Comme d'habitude. I loved it very much, and so I came to know all the famous versions of it,I think all the other versions used the music only not the idea of the original lyrics, most important were Sinatra's and Elvis's versions.
I loved Sinatra's version the most, he nailed it, he made it big and he really was singing his song, he did everything his way, that's true when we talk about blue eyes I think.
Any way, back then everything I did was somehow done my way, I'm stubborn in a way that makes this is true in my case, at least back then, and it lasted for some time, But I remember eight or seven years ago when I was listening to this song and commented that I loved it because I did every thing in my life my way too, that my colleague who was a bit younger than I am looked at me and said something like "U think so? " and I said "Yes, of course!" he had that look on his face and it ended there; But I never forgot his look and now after all those years I admit it, Some things went in a different way than I wanted it and I can never say that "I planned each charted course; Each careful step ...". Still, I can use a good phrase in the song, I still can say that "Through it all, when there was doubt,I ate it up and spit it out." And I always was and always will be,God's will ,someone who "Say the things he truly feels; And not the words of a one who kneels."
Anyway, I've always insisted that Sinatra's version is the best of the song in English, but seeing Robbie Williams singing it in this way and atmosphere in the video made me enchanted and decided to say aaaaaall that maybe I shouldn't have said!
For whoever reads this, I hope you enjoy Robbie's version like I did.

Xibalba , Clint Mansell

This is for my old friend whom I always remember whenever I see Rachel Weisz or listen to alot of sound tracks we once shared, specially The Fountain's.

Thank you for alot of great music and great time, where ever you are now.

An addition on November 8th. , I'm really sorry that there can never be more great times or music, I really am.





Tom Verde: There's no hope for us here, there is only death.

Grand Inquisitor Silecio: Our bodies are prisons for our souls. Our skin and blood, the iron bars of confinement. But fear not. All flesh decays. Death turns all to ash. And thus, death frees every soul.

Tom Verde: All these years, all these memories, there was you. You pull me through time.

Izzi: Will you deliver Spain from bondage?
Tom Verde: I don't know... I'm trying, trying... I don't know how.
Izzi: You do. You will.

Izzi: Every shadow no matter how deep is threatened by morning light.

Memory

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time
I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Every street lamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters and the street lamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I must'nt give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

جملة إعتراضية

في فــمي مـاء وهل ينــطق من في فــيه مـاء

Plague of Ghosts, Raingods Dancing, Fish

Empty churches, empty pews, in the subway nothing moves and the static on the radio is drowning out the sound of raingod's dancing,
Empty playgrounds, empty bars, I can't remember how it was before the flood when all I had to do was recognise the love that's trapped inside.

I gave it all, I took it back and in the end there's nothing left except a shell surrounding emptiness and loneliness, a core of pain,
I see my pathway shining.

Raingods with zippo's, a tinman hides a broken heart,
Raingods with zippo's, he knows the flame has gone that soon he'll fall apart,

So I lay me down to lie and with the rain my lullaby I drift away to dreamless sleep, leave behind a life that died, a victim of a plague of ghosts
I was wrapped up in my guilt buried deep within my memories, a shelter of self-pity that I know the rain will wash away, I sense the storm arriving.

Raingods with zippo's, a tin man rusts away and slowly falls apart,
Raingods with zippo's and all he leaves behind a bleeding broken heart.

Hey You , Pink Floyd

Hey you, out there in the cold
Getting lonely, getting old
Can you feel me?
Hey you, standing in the aisles
With itchy feet and fading smiles
Can you feel me?
Hey you, don't help them to bury the light
Don't give in without a fight.

Hey you, out there on your own
Sitting naked by the phone
Would you touch me?
Hey you, with you ear against the wall
Waiting for someone to call out
Would you touch me?
Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home.

But it was only fantasy.
The wall was too high,
As you can see.
No matter how he tried,
He could not break free.
And the worms ate into his brain.

Hey you, out there on the road
Always doing what you're told,
Can you help me?
Hey you, out there beyond the wall,
Breaking bottles in the hall,
Can you help me?
Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall.

دار جدي - سعاد ماسي

وياريتها كانت فضلت موجودة دار جدي ، ضاعت أيامها للأبد وضاع كل اللى كانوا فيها ......... خسارة

لا يدوم إغترابي - فيروز

Cliche, Marillion

This is the first song I listened to for Marillion. Apart from the music which I liked very much and used as a ring tone for some time, I liked very much the lyrics, the way this song expresses how someone wants to "Express Love", I find it very lovely, pure and innocent in a way. I too think that when it comes to expressing Love or other important feelings, it should be done in a clear and simple way, no games and no maneuvers, life is too short to play games anyway. And again I Quote D. H. Lawrence "Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot". Then again I think , it's not always this simple anyway! .

I've got a reputation of being a man with a gift of words
a romantic poetic type or so they say
but I find it hard to express the way I feel about you
without getting involved with the old cliches.

In the old cliches, it's the old cliches.

This song's begun so many times but never
in a way that you won't consider to be an old cliche.

I want to say that I need you, I miss you when you're away.
And how it seemed like fate - o here we go - the same old cliches.
It's the same old cliches.

It's not that I'm embarrassed or shy, well, you know me too well
but I want to make this song special in a way that you can tell.

That it's solely for you and nobody else
for my best friend, my lover, when I need help - cliche - cliche?

Everything I want to say to you is wrapped up in an old cliche
I'd waited so long to find you, I'd been through the heartbreak and pain,
but of course you already know that cos you've been throught the same.

That's why I'm trying to say with my deepest sincerity
that's why I'm finding it comes down to the basic simplicities
the best way is with an old cliche
it's simply the best way is with an old cliche
always the best way is with an old cliche

I'll leave it to the best way, it's an old cliche

I love you.

You're Gone , Marillion

You're gone as suddenly as you came to me
Like nightfall followed dawn without a day between
You're gone and suddenly I can't see
I'm in the shadow of you
I'm in the shadow of you

I can see you in my mind's rose-tinted eye..
Somewhere you're drifting by
Your heels rolling sparks on the lucky street

While here am I left behind
Stunned and blind
But I can see you from here
I can see you so clear

You are the light
you are the light
You have the day
I have the night
But we have the early hours together

you're gone, and heaven cries
A thunderstorm breaks from the northern sky
chasing you back to the daily grind

You're gone and where am I?
A haunted life
The ghost of your laughter
The half empty glass
The half empty glass

And I wait
till midnight tolls
Two souls almost touching in the dark
I'll be allright

You are the light
You are the light
You have the day I have the night
But we have the early hours
We have the early hours
We have the early hours together

The Day That Never Comes, Metallica

Born to push you around
You better just stay down
You pull away
He hits the flesh
You hit the ground
Mouths so full of lies
Tend to black your eyes
Just keep them closed
Keep praying
Just keep waiting

Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
but the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes

Push you cross that line
Just stay down this time
Hide in yourself
Crawl in yourself
You'll have your time
God I'll make them pay
Take it back one day
I'll end this day
I'll splatter color on this gray

Waiting for the one
The day that never comes
When you stand up and feel the warmth
but the sunshine never comes
No the sunshine never comes

Love is a four letter word
And never spoken here
Love is a four letter word
Here in this prison
I suffer this no longer
I put it into
This I swear!
This I swear!
The sun will shine
This I swear!
This I swear!
This I swear!

Hurt

A life on hold

Suspending what matters and makes a difference to us till what is not really important happens, that's if it ever happens.
Acting as if we will live forever to do Later what ever we badly want to do, when the right time comes, and the right time never really comes.
Later is always 2 hours after the end of time, we never really reach that Later, and at the end of our time, we suddenly realize what we really missed ... our life.

حــنــيـن

لشخص ... لموقف ... لكلمة ... لجدال ... لضحكة ... لخيال ... لفكرة... لمستقبل ... لماضي

خريف 2008

العيد السنة دى

تصالح

ليلة 27 رمضان

رَبَّنَا لاَ تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِن نَّسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لاَ طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا أَنتَ مَوْلانَا فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ

البقرة : 286

وَقَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَى وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَدْخِلْنِي بِرَحْمَتِكَ فِي عِبَادِكَ الصَّالِحِينَ

النمل : 19

رَبِّ هَبْ لِي حُكْمًا وَأَلْحِقْنِي بِالصَّالِحِينَ

الشعراء: 83

Les Feuilles Mortes , Yves Montand

A long time ago me and an old friend thought this version was the best version ever of the song in any language , Montand is really good and the Jazz is great. Tonight, the autumn breeze reminded me of it very much.

This is to Me and my old friend's times together, To you Mishmisha where you are now and To Alexandria In Autumn :).

Oh! je voudrais tant que tu te souviennes
Des jours heureux où nous étions amis
En ce temps-là la vie était plus belle,
Et le soleil plus brûlant qu'aujourd'hui
Les feuilles mortes se ramassent à la pelle
Tu vois, je n'ai pas oublié...
Les feuilles mortes se ramassent à la pelle,
Les souvenirs et les regrets aussi
Et le vent du nord les emporte
Dans la nuit froide de l'oubli.
Tu vois, je n'ai pas oublié
La chanson que tu me chantais.

C'est une chanson qui nous ressemble
Toi, tu m'aimais et je t'aimais
Et nous vivions tous deux ensemble
Toi qui m'aimais, moi qui t'aimais
Mais la vie sépare ceux qui s'aiment
Tout doucement, sans faire de bruit
Et la mer efface sur le sable
Les pas des amants désunis.

Les feuilles mortes se ramassent à la pelle,
Les souvenirs et les regrets aussi
Mais mon amour silencieux et fidèle
Sourit toujours et remercie la vie
Je t'aimais tant, tu étais si jolie,
Comment veux-tu que je t'oublie?
En ce temps-là, la vie était plus belle
Et le soleil plus brûlant qu'aujourd'hui
Tu étais ma plus douce amie
Mais je n'ai que faire des regrets
Et la chanson que tu chantais
Toujours, toujours je l'entendrai!

C'est une chanson qui nous ressemble
Toi, tu m'aimais et je t'aimais
Et nous vivions tous deux ensemble
Toi qui m'aimais, moi qui t'aimais
Mais la vie sépare ceux qui s'aiment
Tout doucement, sans faire de bruit
Et la mer efface sur le sable
Les pas des amants désunis.

Echos ................صدى

Ram , Whatever, Douja , القصبة , Gary Moore , Trash (Thrash) music , Metallica , One day , Loin , A Thousand Years , Casablanca , Bridges of Madison County , Iwo Jima , The Prophet , Paroles , Michelle , Sienna , London Eye , Bright side , Dark side , Misunderstanding ,Piaf , Minor keys, Entitled , مواعظ , The Good side ,Brando , ماجدة  .

But everyone says goodbye some time!

..
..
..
What is done has been done for the best,

Though the mist in my eyes might suggest,

Just a little confusion about what I'll lose,
But if I started over I know I would choose,

The same joy
the same sadness
each step of the way,
That fought me
and taught me............

Friends Never Say Goodbye , Elton John

A term

Wishful thinking...

Is the formation of beliefs and making decisions according to what might be pleasing to imagine instead of by appealing to evidence or rationality.

Just a phrase from an old song!

...
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
...

ضحكة بلهاء

هاهاهاهاااااااااا

وببلاهة كمان - ده كان رد فعلى الأول النهاردة على خبر الحكم على المتهم الأول فى قضية تسريب أسئلة إمتحانات الثانوية العامة بالسجن المشدد 15 سنة . لأنى إفتكرت ساعتها الحكم ببراءة المتهمين فى قضية العبارة و أكياس الدم

Holding Back the Years, Simply Red

Well, some things get a different meaning and leave a different memory as we go on in life I suppose .

Holding back the years,
Thinking of the fear I've had for so long.
When somebody hears,
Listen to the fear that's gone.
Strangled by the wishes of pater,
Hoping for the arm of mater,
Get to me sooner or later,

Nothing ever could, yeah.
I'll keep holding on,
I'll keep holding on,
I'll keep holding on,
I'll keep holding on.

Chance for me to escape from all I know.
Holding back the tears.
There's nothing here has grown.
I've wasted all my tears,
Wasted all those years.
Nothing had the chance to be good,

Nothing ever could, yeah.
I'll keep holding on,

I'll keep holding on,
I'll keep holding on,
I'll keep holding on
So tight.

2 رمضان

يقول ابن الجوزي ـ رحمه الله ـ‏:‏ انظر يا مسكين‏,‏ إذا قطعت نهارك بالعطش والجوع‏,‏ وأحييت ليلك بطول السجود والركوع‏,‏ إنك فيما تظن صائم‏!‏ وأنت في جهالتك جازم‏,‏ أين أنت من التواضع والخضوع‏,‏ أين أنت من الذلة لمولاك والخضوع‏,‏ أتحسب أنك عند الله من أهل الصيام الفائزين في شهر رمضان؟ كلا والله حتي تخلص النية وتجردها‏,‏ وتطهر الطوية وتجودها‏,‏ وتجتنب الأعمال الدنية ولا تردها‏.‏

فلذلك قيل‏:‏ من سلم له من عمره لحظة خالصة لوجه الله نجا‏,‏ وذلك لمعزة الإخلاص ولعسر تنقية القلب من هذه الشوائب‏,‏ بل الخالص هو الذي لا باعث له إلا طلب القرب من الله تعالي‏.‏ ولذلك أيضا قيل لسورة قل هو الله أحد سورة الإخلاص‏.‏ قال ابن الأثير‏:‏ لأنها خالصة صفة الله ـ تعالي ـ أو لأن قائلها قد أخلص التوحيد لله ـ عز وجل ـ فكلمة الإخلاص هي كلمة التوحيد‏,‏ والإخلاص في الطاعة ترك الرياء‏.‏

قال الجنيد ـ رحمه الله ـ‏:‏ الإخلاص بين الله وبين العبد‏,‏ لايعلمه ملك فيكتبه ولاشيطان فيفسره ولا هوي فيميله‏.‏

كان من دعاء مطرف بن عبدالله‏:‏ اللهم إني استغفرك مما تبت إليك منه‏,‏ ثم عدت فيه‏,‏ وأستغفرك مما جعلته لك علي نفسي ثم لم أف لك به‏,‏ وأستغفرك مما زعمت أني أردت به وجهك‏,‏ فخالط قلبي منه ماقد علمت‏.‏

Reality , Richard Sanderson

Listining to this song instantly takes me back 20 years, to a different place, mood and atmosphere that don't exist anymore, and never will exist again. It's been like 15 years or a little less since I last listened to it. I know why I remembered it now. So I decided to pay tribute to it, though for me now it seems so Cheesy as an old friend of mine used to say. Dreams were never my reality, but if I were a dreamer at any time of my life, I hope I'm cured now anyway.