ـ "... إن فى الإنسان منطقة عجيبة سحيقة لا تصل إليها الفضيلة ولا الرذيلة ، ولا تشع فيها شمس العقل والإرادة ، ولا ينطق لسان المنطق ، ولا تطاع القوانين والأوضاع ، ولا تتداول فيها لغة أو تستخدم كلمة ... إنما هى مملكة نائية عن عالم الألفاظ والمعاني ... كل مافيها شفاف هفاف يأتي بالأعاجيب فى طرفة عين ... يكفي أن ترن فى أرجائها نبرة ، أو تبرق لمحة ، أو ينشر شذا عطر ، حتى يتصاعد من أعماقها فى لحظة من الإحساسات والصور والذكريات ، ما يهز كياننا ويفتح نفوسنا على أشياء لا قبل لنا بوصفها ، ولا بتجسيدها ، ولو لجأ إلى أدق العبارات و أبرع اللغات ... " ـ

توفيق الحكيم

Within man lies a deep wondrous spot, to which neither virtue nor vice can reach. Upon which the sun of reason and will never rises. In which the mouth of logic never speaks, the laws and rules are never obeyed, and not a language is used nor a word is ever spoken.
It is a distant Kingdom, beyond words and meanings. With everything is a sheer murmur offering wonders in a blink. From the depths of which, suffice a single tone or a flash of mind or a scent of a perfum, to allow rise of emotions, pictures and memories, a rising that will shake our being and open ourselves to things we can neither describe nor materialize even if we used the most refined of phrases or the most skillful of languages.

Tawfiq Al-Hakim.
(My humble transalation of the arabic text)

Friday, August 31, 2007

Just sugar mice , in the rain


For when it comes right down to it there' s no use trying to pretend
For when it gets right down to it there' s no one really left to blame
Blame it on me, you can blame it on me
We' re just sugar mice ..... in the rain


Sugar Mice, Marillion


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Heart breaking even

Poor Man's Moody Blues , by The Barclay James Harvest

All the nights that I've missed you
All the nights without end
All the times that I've called you
Only needing a friend
Now your eyes shine with beauty
That I missed long ago
Guess the truth is I love you
I can't say any more
'Cause I need you
Yes I want you
Yes I love you

As I look from my window
To the streets where you stand
I am gazing through dark glass
We can't walk hand in hand
Though your friends try to tell me
Though your friends you defend
They keep my heart from your heart
We must be in the end
'Cause I love you
Yes I need you
Yes I love you

All the nights that I've missed you
All the nights without end
All the times that I've called you
Only needing a friend
Now your eyes shine with beauty
That I missed long ago
Guess the truth is I love you
I can't say any more
'Cause I need you
Yes I want you
Yes I love you

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Dark Side - 4


This thing of darkness I acknowlege mine. There is nothing more confining than the prison we don't know we are in.
William Shakespeare


The last post about The Dark Side -3 , was about me. Results of 2 tests i made online, funny they were supposed to be! but the word that kept me busy for a while was that i'm a "rogue wandrer" searching for my "shadow self".
The shadow self is the word that kept ringing in my head as i didn't really know the meaning of it . Here's what i found about the shadow self !

" The shadow self is what sabotages our relationships, jobs, it denies our spirit, keeps us from realizing our destiny and dreams. It is what we sweep under the rug. It gets buried and repressed into our deep unconscious self. The shadow is what we don't want to be. It seems so horrible and grotesque feeding into our greatest fear that someone might discover our dark shameful secret --- further repressing it. Hiding what's inside gives it power, because we don't have the power to chose --- we just react. It is the voice that says we are unloved, undeserving, unworthy, keeping us from what we want or desire. It shows itself through our projection of judgements on others. What we don't own about ourselves we project onto other people. It is the only way to get our attention. terrified of discover the ego disowns it and uses the tool of judgement to protect itself --- but only prevents self realization. When you don't own an aspect of your life --- it runs your life. "

Now i guess it is a good result after all , that i'm searching after my shadow self .

Friday, August 24, 2007

"Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. The cataclysm has happened, we are among the ruins, we start to build up new little habitats, to have new little hopes. It is rather hard work: there is now no smooth road into the future: but we go round, or scramble over the obstacles. We've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen. "

D.H. Lawrence

Monday, August 20, 2007

Original Sin

Oh, it's carnival night
And they're stringing the lights around you
Hanging paper angels
Painting little devils on the roof

Oh the furnace wind
Is a flickering of wings about your face
In a cloud of incense
Yea, it smells like Heaven in this place

I can't eat, can't sleep
Still I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside

Tell me how, you know now, the ways and means of getting in
Underneath my skin,
Oh you were always my original sin
And tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin

A dream will fly
The moment that you open up your eyes
A dream is just a riddle
Ghosts from every corner of your life

Up in the balcony
All the Romeo's are bleeding for your hand
Blowing theater kisses
Reciting lines they don't understand

I can't eat, can't sleep
Still I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside

Tell me how, you know now, the ways and means of getting in
Underneath my skin,
Oh you were always my original sin
And tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin

Tell me how, you know now, the ways and means of getting in
Underneath my skin,
Oh you were always my original sin
And tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin.....


Original Sin , Elton John

The Thorn Birds



Long ago, there was a bird to sang just once in its life.

From the moment it left its nest, it searched for a thorn tree.

And it never rested until it found one.

Then it began to sing more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth.

And singing, it impaled its breast on the longest, sharpest thorn.
But as it was dying, it rose above its own agony
to out-sing the lark and the nightingale.

The thornbird pays its life for that one song
and the whole world stills to listen
and God, in His heaven ~ smiles.


As its best was bought only at the cost of great pain.


Driven to the thorn, with no knowledge of the dying to come.
But when we press the thorn to our breast,

We know……

We understand……


And still…… we do it.


Piano Concerto no.1 in B Flat Minor

I don't know why, but whenever i hear this piece of music i always picture the following, a windy full-moon night with clear sky and very few stars, The Mad sea waves striking the huge rocks on the shore trying to break them... defeat them !!! . The splash is always enormous and the water retreat is always soft !! and has nothing to do with the violence it hits the rocks with. Again to strike the rocks on the shore ........

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Flirty....... ;)

Never meaning to send !


Nights in white satin,
Never reaching the end,
Letters I've written,
Never meaning to send.

Beauty I'd always missed
With these eyes before,
Just what the truth is
I can't say anymore.

cause I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you.

Gazing at people,
Some hand in hand,
Just what I'm going thru
They can understand.

Some try to tell me
Thoughts they cannot defend,
Just what you want to be
You will be in the end,

And I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you.
Oh, how, I love you.

Nights in white satin,
Never reaching the end,
Letters I've written,
Never meaning to send.

Beauty I'd always missed
With these eyes before,
Just what the truth is
I can't say anymore.

cause I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you.
Oh, how, I love you.

cause I love you,
Yes, I love you,
Oh, how, I love you.
Oh, how, I love you.

Moody Blues , Nights In White Satin

Sunday, August 12, 2007

عن العشق و الهوى

مقطتفات من مقالة عن الحب . أعجبتنى و أذهلتنى ... أعترف .
الحب و تفسيره وشرح أسبابه . عند كبار فقهاء المسلمين فى أزهى عصور الإسلام

يقول الإمام ابن حزم في كتابه طوق الحمامة: "الحب أعزك الله أوله هزل وآخره جد. دقت معانيه لجلالتها عن أن توصف فلا تدرك حقيقتها إلا بالمعاناة............ثم يوضح أنه لا يقصد بذلك المشابهة في الشكل أو الأخلاق ولكن في ذات النفس، فيقول مشيرًا إلى كلامه السابق: "كل ذلك معلوم بالفطرة في أحوال تصرف الإنسان وزوجه؛ فيسكن إليها. والله عز وجل يقول: {هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَا} (الأعراف: 189)، فجعل علة السكن أنها من خلقه [لاحظ جيدًا مدى ما يستحقه هذا النص القرآني من تأمل]. ولو كان علة الحب حسن الصورة الجسدية لوجب ألا يستحب الأنقص من الصورة [أي لا يحب الإنسان الأقل منه جمالاً]. ونحن نجد كثيرًا ممن يؤثر الأدنى [يفضل الأقل جمالاً]، ويعلم فضل غيره، ولا نجد متحيدًا لقلبه عنه. ولو كان للموافقة في الأخلاق لما أحب المرء من لا يساعده ولا يوافقه [أي من لا يتوافق معه في الأخلاق والطبع]، فعلمنا أنه شيء في ذات النفس [أي المشابهة في الجوهر الداخلي لنفس الإنسان].

يرى الإمام ابن الجوزي في كتابه "ذم الهوى" أن العشق شدة ميل النفس إلى صورة تلائم طبعها؛ فإذ قوي فكرها فيها تصورت حصولها، وتمنت ذلك؛ فيتجدد من شدة الفكر مرض................ويتأكد العشق بإدمان النظر وكثرة اللقاء وطول الحديث، فإن انضم إلى ذلك معانقة أو تقبيل فقد تم استحكامه.

يقول الإمام ابن القيم في كتابه "نزهة المشتاقين":وقد يقع الانجذاب والميل بالخاصية [بخصوصية معينة] وهذا لا يُعلَّل ولا يُعرف سببه كانجذاب الحديد إلى الحجر المغناطيس. ولا ريب أن وقوع هذا القدر بين الأرواح أعظم من وقوعه بين الجمادات. وهذا الذي حمل بعض الناس على أن قال: "إن العشق لا يقف على الحسن والجمال، ولا يلزم من عدمه [أي لا يلزم من يفقد الجمال ألا يُحب]، إنما هو تشاكل النفوس وتمازجها في الطباع المخلوقة [أي تشابه النفوس في طباعها، وهذا أهم تحديد في سبب الحب عند الإمام ابن القيم]. وقد قال بعضهم لمحبوبه: صادفت فيك جوهر نفسي، وشاكلتها في كل أحوالها؛ فانبعثت نفسي إليك، وكأنما هويت نفسي.


الإستنتاج :
نعم، المشابهة هي علة الحب، ولكن المشابهة في أي شيء.. هذا هو السؤال؟ فالذي نذهب إليه أن هناك عدة مشابهات قد تكون هي علة الحب بين نفسي العاشقين. ولكن أهم هذه المشابهات هي المشابهة في قوة نفس المحبوبين لا من حيث نظر المجتمع ولكن من نظر المحبوب، وكذلك من حيث نظر محبوبه إلى نفسه وإليه، سواء اتفقت هذه الرؤية مع رؤية الواقع الاجتماعي لها أو لم تتفق. أي إن الفيصل في تقرير هذه الحالة هما العاشقان فقط لا بدافع من بيئة تحيط بهما.

من الذي وضع هذا في طريق ذاك؟ ومن الذي وضع ذاك في طريق هذا؟ ومن الذي جعلهما يعتقدان أنهما متماثلان في قوة ذات كل منهما هذا التماثل مع أن ذلك أمر ذاتي وليس موضوعيًا؟ الإجابة عن ذلك مستحيلة؛ لأن هذه الأمور أمور قدرية لا يعلمها إلا الله.

وعملية اكتمال التماثل في الصفات الأخرى حتى يتحقق المزج بين نفسي العاشقين أمر عجيب، لأنه بعد حدوث التآلف بين المحبوبين فإن كل محب يكون منجذبًا إلى أن تشابه صفاته صفات محبوبه؛ حتى يقتربا في كل صفة إلى نقاط التماس، ثم إلى المطابقة الجزئية، ثم إلى التطابق التام في كل الصفات.

فإن كان أحدهما شرسًا والآخر موادعًا وجدتهما يلتقيان عند نقطة ما بين الشراسة والوداعة.

هذا التآلف بين المحبوبين يصنع هذه الدرجة الرائعة من التماثل في الصفات الروحية؛ حتى يحدث المزج التام بينهما؛ فلا تعلم ما هي الصفات الخاصة بهذا أو بذاك وبماذا يتشابه أحدهما بالآخر.

عنوان المقالة الكاملة هو
http://www.islamonline.net/arabic/contemporary/2002/
09/article06c.shtml

......nothing but a heartache


Friday, August 10, 2007

The Dark Side - 3



Well, in general i like personality tests, they show me the hidden parts of my innerself. Quite some time ago, i found a site that i thought was funny, i like movies and the test was which movie am i ? with it was another test that was funny to me too , which leader am i ?

I took the tests, saved the results pictures and never really bothered to read them twice, until now, when i was looking for a good photo on my computer for the previous post. I think these results are the darkest i ever had, maybe they are 100% true, or 15% true and, maybe not true at all.

Either way, may be they are some kind of an answer on the question i was asked this week , what is my dark side ?

Anyway, if anybody reading this liked the answers, maybe you would like to make the tests yourself !!

http://similarminds.com/othertests.html

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Dark Side - 2


So, what is a Dark Side ?

This is the question that poped-up in my head twice by other people and many times by myself in the past few days. A dear one asked me what's my dark side ? in another argument suggested that a dark side is where the hidden secrets and desires lie, i suppose stressing more on desires, and in a third argument commented on a way of handling things ironically as " a part of the character " not a dark area in a person.

Another way of describing the dark side was in the only comment i got in the last post, the first about the dark sides, that "it may not be dark after all ... ..., what you call "dark side" may be considered something natural in terms of someone else". I suppose this means that the dark side of anybody's personality is the area that's not accepted by the other. Whatever this area contains !!

So , and since i'm a fan of definitions, or perhaps better to say good understanding! i've been thinking, trying to get a clear definition for what we mean when we say "a dark side in a person ".

Is it where we hide forbidden ideas, desires, secrets and maybe more !!! and by forbidden i mean heavenly or socially or both ! Ideas and desiers that we long to declare and fulfill but can't, just because we fear the judgment. But this would simly mean that a Hippie has no dark sides , since society and religion means nothing to him !! am i right ?

Is the dark side where we lock in another chatacter we have, and throw the key, for good sometimes, so that i won't escape ? Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde style maybe !!! with some of us can even control it and let it out every once and a while in certain situations ?? Sometimes it's the other way around, this other locked-up character overpowers the original, may be the hermit in Thais is an example !

Or does a dark side only means the darkest shade, the concentrate, of our own everyday, publicly shown, and sometimes even praised qualities. For example, a dreamer or an imaginative person could turn into an eccentric person when this quality overwhelms him !!

Or is there another description for this Dark Side that hasn't crossed my mind ??

I guess i'll leave this argument open, i can't really decide, except that it's a combination of all that's said above, maybe suggesting that there is no other character inside us, it's just a part of us that even we are unaware of !!! it's the same us, from a totally different angle.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

The Dark Side - 1


Well, another reason that caused my early return to posting is a situation i put myself into today , But was assisted and initiated in the first place by someone else. Apart from the situation itself , the other party brought up the term "The Dark Side".

The dark side inside each and every one of us, always the dark side we hide from people, most of the time, and maybe, if we are clever enough, all the time !! This same dark side we sometimes tend to neglect if we notice, and conceal from ourselves if we're not brave enough to face, or at least admit the existance of.



Today, i even wondered what would be the limit between being brave to admit it and rude or nasty to declare it !! I'm not judging anything, i just wondered, and still searching for the answer about this question !.

This dark side can involve thoughts, ideas, or even actions that we really don't want other people to know about. Specially , the people who most like or idolize us , or people we simply benefit from them liking our ideal picture. A quick example that came to my mind just now, Princess Diana, having a lover!, just to revenge her husband's another dark secret, both hiding it from a Nation !!! In this case , admiting it, i admit, was nasty, i don't consider it was bravery, but it's just my opinion.

But then again, i admit i was shocked when i read Tawfiq Al Hakim's own confessions of let's say , relations, and yet i never considered it that nasty !!! Why ?! i never really understood this , maybe because i like him, that's all, or maybe i have a dark side that looks at these matters of life in different ways, depending on what , i don't really know.

I suppose this is a topic that really makes me think, which is something i like, so , I know for a fact that i'll come again to this Dark Side.

تخطيط ... ... ماحصلش


اوكى

أعترف أنى أحسن واحدة تحط خطط وما تنفذش الجدول الزمنى للخطة والأكتر ... ... أنى بأعدلها تبعا للموقف المتدهور دائما - اللى هو أن الوقت ضاااااااع - بس فى النهاية مابأنفذهاش تقريبا . عملت كده كتير جدا طول سنين . لكن كنت دائما بأعتمد إنى هأعرف أوصل للنتيجة اللى أنا عاوزاها . بغض النظر عن إن إلتزامى بالخطة كان هيوصلنى لنتيجة أحسن بمراحل من النتيجة اللى محدداها لنفسى -يمكن ده القنوع اللى بيقولوا عليه - ... ... أو الغباء !! حتى جدول مذاكرة الثانوية العامة اللى خططته لنفسى ... ... مانفهذتوش . مع أن دى كان فيها ضياع مستقبل . إنما برضه مانفذتش الجدول الزمنى :) يمكن ده نوع من رفض التقييد - إذا امكن - أو نوع من الضعف و السلبية أو حتى نوع من الكسل بس . معرفش !! بس كل ما أفتكر اللى عملته فى نفسى فى الثانوية العامة ... أعرف انى ماليش فى التخطيط الزمنى خالص

عموما اللى جاب الموضوع ده أنى كنت مخططة - أو بمعنى أدق مقررة - إنى هأوقف كتابة هنا متعمدة لأخر الشهر تقريبا - لأسباب خاصة - بس برضه ما إلتزمتش أكتر من 12 يوم . السبب ... إنتفاء سبب تانى ..ههههه

الحمد لله



وَآخِرُ دَعْوَاهُمْ أَنِ الْحَمْدُ لِلّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِين