A rollback

When I decided to stop blogging back in January, It wasn't a quick decision. I had already felt that I can't write anything that seemed good to me for many months, and it was devastating to see that I can't even think and have one good idea or feeling expressed. The decision was about to be finalized in last November but for some reasons I decided not to do it then. By Jan. it was very hard to go on, and so I decided to stop.
Such a decision was not easy for me to take, this blog means alot to me ... and did alot to me, it was always a good relief from this exhaustig world. Meshmesha, my friend, she knew that and so she was shocked that I took this action. Well, I couldn't pretend that I felt ok with my posts, no matter how they looked, I was never the same person who blogged a year or even six months earlier, it was no fun or relief like before!. It's the feeling that mattered I guess, not the looks.
And since January, I hated more and more the feeling that I can't trap a thought for more than 5 minutes, litterally. It seemed to me that I am runing away from my own thoughts, maybe I did and maybe I really have nothing that matters to think about, or maybe I dismiss them and then pretend that I have nothing to think about, I don't know. Whatever it was the real reason for this state, I was sure that I'll never be able to come back, Even if I wanted to.
But an hour ago a nostalgic post I read on a blog, with one song made me smile again and think of something that I can and want to write about ... I think I may never return in the same frequency as before, or even this rollback may fail, either way I'll give it a try.