ـ "... إن فى الإنسان منطقة عجيبة سحيقة لا تصل إليها الفضيلة ولا الرذيلة ، ولا تشع فيها شمس العقل والإرادة ، ولا ينطق لسان المنطق ، ولا تطاع القوانين والأوضاع ، ولا تتداول فيها لغة أو تستخدم كلمة ... إنما هى مملكة نائية عن عالم الألفاظ والمعاني ... كل مافيها شفاف هفاف يأتي بالأعاجيب فى طرفة عين ... يكفي أن ترن فى أرجائها نبرة ، أو تبرق لمحة ، أو ينشر شذا عطر ، حتى يتصاعد من أعماقها فى لحظة من الإحساسات والصور والذكريات ، ما يهز كياننا ويفتح نفوسنا على أشياء لا قبل لنا بوصفها ، ولا بتجسيدها ، ولو لجأ إلى أدق العبارات و أبرع اللغات ... " ـ

توفيق الحكيم

Within man lies a deep wondrous spot, to which neither virtue nor vice can reach. Upon which the sun of reason and will never rises. In which the mouth of logic never speaks, the laws and rules are never obeyed, and not a language is used nor a word is ever spoken.
It is a distant Kingdom, beyond words and meanings. With everything is a sheer murmur offering wonders in a blink. From the depths of which, suffice a single tone or a flash of mind or a scent of a perfum, to allow rise of emotions, pictures and memories, a rising that will shake our being and open ourselves to things we can neither describe nor materialize even if we used the most refined of phrases or the most skillful of languages.

Tawfiq Al-Hakim.
(My humble transalation of the arabic text)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A rollback

When I decided to stop blogging back in January, It wasn't a quick decision. I had already felt that I can't write anything that seemed good to me for many months, and it was devastating to see that I can't even think and have one good idea or feeling expressed. The decision was about to be finalized in last November but for some reasons I decided not to do it then. By Jan. it was very hard to go on, and so I decided to stop.
Such a decision was not easy for me to take, this blog means alot to me ... and did alot to me, it was always a good relief from this exhaustig world. Meshmesha, my friend, she knew that and so she was shocked that I took this action. Well, I couldn't pretend that I felt ok with my posts, no matter how they looked, I was never the same person who blogged a year or even six months earlier, it was no fun or relief like before!. It's the feeling that mattered I guess, not the looks.
And since January, I hated more and more the feeling that I can't trap a thought for more than 5 minutes, litterally. It seemed to me that I am runing away from my own thoughts, maybe I did and maybe I really have nothing that matters to think about, or maybe I dismiss them and then pretend that I have nothing to think about, I don't know. Whatever it was the real reason for this state, I was sure that I'll never be able to come back, Even if I wanted to.
But an hour ago a nostalgic post I read on a blog, with one song made me smile again and think of something that I can and want to write about ... I think I may never return in the same frequency as before, or even this rollback may fail, either way I'll give it a try.

2 comments:

Meshmesha said...

WELCOME BACK :)
I am so happy to see the blog active again...actually I was pretty sure that you'll be back. Sometimes we just need a "vacation" from ourselves;)

Mmm! said...

Thanx meshmesha , I'll try to do my best to return as I was before.