On a side track !

Don't know if it's normal or not but lately reading has been like a reflection-inducing process .
And two days ago reading words written about/by Dirk Bogarde made me -suddenly-  realize for the first time in years why exactly I loved my field of profession yet I never really bothered to read about its developments. I don't love It, I just loved its dynamics, that's all, The Dynamics. More like loving to eat regardless of what you eat or its quality, or even learning to cook. Like loving sex regardless of the partner. Strange but true.
I think I did write an old post here about being Adrenaline-junkie -on a minimum level of course ☺-, I loved the excitement that is in the tight schedule and challenge in finding a way to do things with what we have in hand, even producing a creative product. I liked the capability of being creative, even on a tiny scale. I loved that it wasn't bureaucratic or red-tape obedient. I loved the team-work with people I used to work with, we were literally like playing ping-pong always making our best each in his area to produce the best we can.
I loved all that yet I never ever wanted to read more into the profession, the field of knowledge,  I thought I loved It so I always wondered why can't I stand reading in its new developments. I mean I love reading in general and I spend hours surfing the internet to read about a lot of things yet I never could stand reading in details of my profession for more than 2-3 hours continuously !!! and all would be forgotten in a week at the max. It won't occupy the tiniest space in my head for long.
But, thanks to the reflections I've been having compulsively lately I think I was enlightened and freed at the same time.
Enlightened for now I understand why I used to love what I'm doing for living, not anymore in a way. And freed because I know now that I can leave it if I want -and can-  and all I need to do is find another medium that need only to have the dynamics I used to love.

Thanks Dirk ☺☺ you've been very helpful and a powerful source of my happiness lately.